The smell of rain

Romeo

Though optimistic, I am not blind to the reality of pancreatic cancer (pc). It has one of the lowest survival rates of all the cancers. Just 6% of patients survive beyond five years. Astronaut Sally Ride succumbed to pc at age 61, seventeen months after her initial diagnosis. My oncological surgeon cheerfully told me that I have a 50% chance for two years and 25% for five years or more.

In the face of what is essentially a death sentence, one can hardly avoid becoming an existentialist. Once the shock of a terminal diagnosis passes, there is a growing sense of urgency. So little time! I must do something. But... what should I do?

As noted previously on this blog, I have enjoyed a life of fulfillment, with a good measure of adventure and accomplishment–no regrets, no important goals unrealized, few desires unfulfilled. My "bucket list" is actually quite short, and for the most part contains frivolous indulgences, e.g., riding a Segway personal transporter.

Maybe all I really need is to practice enjoying each day as it comes–reveling in the taste of barbecue, the company of family and friends, the care of Romeo, the smell of rain, the lyrics of Leonard Cohen, a joyful walk in the woods, the pursuit of Spirit...

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One year

On July 4th, 2011, I first noticed the jaundice that heralded my pc adventure. Once diagnosed, everyone said the treatment and recovery would take a year.

After stents, pre-op radiation/chemo, Whipple procedure, wound-vac, post-op chemo, and the umpteenth CT scan... On July 3rd, 2012, exactly 366 days later (a leap year :-), I received the "final"  diagnosis. Talk about precision–one year to the day!

The results? Negative, which in medical parlance means good.

So, I'm out of the woods for now and once again unleashed upon the world. I am undecided where to turn next, but if I'm headed to your neck of the woods in pursuit of my bucket list, I promise to give you fair warning.

Thank you for your love and support over the past year.

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Life after Life ~ Part II

Nota Bene: If you want to do this right...

please scroll down and read the previous post

before reading this one. Tx.

What do I hope for in life after death?

Hmm... I'm just beginning to realize what a perplexing assignment this is.

For starters, I can only think within the limitations of my present human context. Surely, my thought processes will be more imaginative when I reach the other side, but for now I'm stuck with who I am and what I know. Which points the way for the first wish for the afterlife, i.e., freedom from the limitations of my Earthly body and brain.

That aside, what do I hope for? Absolute contentment. I want to smile like the Buddha, basking in complete knowledge and understanding. I want to be mutually in love with the Universe. I want to know God–if there is one. I want to be free of care and fulfilled in every way.

Or... maybe...

On second thought, this scenario seems equally as dull and boring as an eternity strumming a harp while wafting about Heaven seated upon a cloud.

The German philosopher Authur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) developed a rather pessimistic world view based upon his observation that human desires can never be fully satisfied. However, it seems to me that a static state of satisfaction is a patently asinine objective. The essence of life is in the banquet that takes you from hunger to fulfilled, the sleep that restores your energy, the exercise of skills that brings you back to safety from a risky adventure, and the caresses that assuage your sexual desire. It is the ups and downs, the in-betweens that give life its meaning.

Should it be any different in the afterlife?

The most common Christian epitaph is "Rest in Peace". For starters, after a life of discomfort and pain, contention and frustration, to simply lie in peaceful repose might be rather tempting... for a while.

A very perceptive young woman once told me she had three requirements for happiness: Something interesting to do. Something to look forward to. Someone to love. None of these is a goal, as such. Not places of respite, nor states of satisfaction. They are dynamic and unfulfilled–journeys, not destinations.

So, where does this leave me? Absolute contentment is still a worthy objective, but I'd want to earn it. To deserve it through thoughtful inquiry and earnest study. To suffer frustration as well as achievement in the process. To learn to heal and love myself and others. To approach God, but slowly... After all, what's time to a seeker who has all of eternity?

So give me a heavenly library, scholars to interview, and time to meditate. Give me kindred souls to love and be loved by in return. Introduce me to God–but not right away.

Yin-Yang

Postscript: I do not practice any religion, but I must admit that Taoism makes the most sense to me. Ergo, my prospective life after life is strongly colored by the tenets of Lao Tzu. What can I say? I am what I am.

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Life after Life

Generally speaking, a religion is a closed system of facts, beliefs, stories, myths, and practices shared by a group of people. Most, perhaps all, religions arise fundamentally as a reaction to human mortality and the personal anxiety associated therewith. The ultimate purpose of a religion is to provide comfort by suggesting answers to the vexing questions regarding the creation of life, the purpose of life, and life after death.

Most religions have a spiritual component and pay homage to a deity or deities. It is readily apparent that human knowledge is woefully incomplete and that we are not in control of events, thus the need for a supreme being to blame and/or beseech regarding natural events and the outcomes of human endeavors.

Religions have been used in the service of controlling human behavior through reward and punishment for particular actions. Many of these incentives and disincentives are promised in the afterlife. Islamic suicide bombers who attack infidels are rewarded posthumously with milk and honey–and the company of virgins. Christian sinners are burned in Hell. Good Buddhists move up to the next level on the freeway to Nirvana.

According to John 3:16, Christianity promises eternal life as a reward for believing in Jesus Christ. It seems to me that, from a human perspective, eternal life would be incredibly boring. How would one ever accomplish anything knowing that he literally has forever to get things done? What's time to a hog ...or an angel?

I hope for something different, something more. If you concur, try this: Imagine a life after death scenario that you would find satisfying. Even an atheist can participate in this exercise! No faith required. No deity needed. If you are religious, forget the teachings of your belief system. Just answer the question: What do I want death to be like?

I'll give you my answer in a day or two. Meanwhile think about it and if you wish, post your ideal afterlife scenario in the comments below.

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Oh Captain! my Captain! - again

Below is an item I posted in December of 2010, which is now buried at the bottom of this blog. I thought it worth bringing to the top again. BTW, I did not receive a response from the White House.

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I am deeply disappointed with my president. Below is the text from a letter I sent to him a few days ago. The poem is a parody of one written by Whitman in response to the death of Abraham Lincoln.


December 16, 2010

With apologies to Walt Whitman:

        O Captain! my Captain!
        Rise up and feel our pain.
        Why have you deserted us
        Time and time again?

        O Captain! my Captain!
        I fear that they have won.
        All our hopes and all our dreams,
        Our "fearful trip" undone.

        My Captain does not answer;
        He seems no longer to care.
        And we are left to face the storm
        In heartache and despair.

Dear Mr. President:

How have you so badly lost your way in just these two years. We gave you our money and our vote; you gave us watered down health care. We gave you our faith and our hope; you sent more troops to Afghanistan. We gave you our trust and our love; you gave tax cuts to millionaires.

Where is the President of our hopes and dreams? Where is the President who would lead us from the wilderness of ill health, the valley of financial oppression, and the battlefields of needless wars.

Enough of compromise! Just do it! Damn the filibusters! Full speed ahead! We didn't elect you to negotiate; we elected you to lead! Damn it, Man! Take back the wheel and steer our ship of state out of this political storm and into the tranquil waters of justice, equality, and peace.

No more compromise!
No more compromise!
No more compromise!

With waning respect,

John Floyd
--a citizen in Waxhaw, NC

Tortoise, Terrapin, Turtle

Hearing "gopher tortoise", you might imagine a furry head darting this way and that at the top of an upright shell, propped up by the beast's hind legs. Well, no. The gopher tortoise is so named not because it looks like a gopher, but because it burrows like a gopher. A single Gopherus polyphemus will have several burrows, up to 40 feet long and 10 feet deep! Since more than 360 other species use its burrows for protective shelter, the gopher tortoise has earned the designation of keystone species, since its demise would endanger the survival of 360 other critters.

Gopherus polyphemus

Hmmm, I wonder: What's the opposite of keystone species, i.e., a species whose departure from  the ecosystem would be considered a positive event? Whatever the category is called, I'd wager that human beings are high on the list.

Ever consider the difference between tortoise, terrapin, and turtle? Loosely speaking, they're cousins. More specifically, tortoises live on land and have feet while turtles have flippers, and terrapins are turtles that live in fresh or brackish waters. In other words: tortoises live inland, terrapins along the coast, and turtles in the sea. Now you know.

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Vortex riddle

Vine around tree

Urban legend has it that a bathtub whirlpool spins one way in the Earth's northern hemisphere and the other way south of the equator. Not true: the vortex of an open drain doesn't spin consistently one way or the other. However, natural water currents and air masses are influenced by the Coriolis effect, which creates so-called inertial circles that rotate clockwise in the northern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the southern hemisphere. [NB: For some reason, low pressure weather systems always spin counter-clockwise in the North, clockwise in the South. Go figure...]

The riddle: Here in Waxhaw, NC, most vines, as viewed from above, grow around a tree in a clockwise fashion, like the water and air currents. My question is, does the Coriolis effect influence the path of a vine wrapping around a tree, such that a hemisphere effect occurs? In other words, do vines spiral counter-clockwise in the southern hemisphere?

Now, we just need a comment from someone south of the equator.

We're waiting...

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